Thanks so much for your help! Truly appreciate you trying to help me out here! 
This setting not in WooCommerce settings, please check the theme Customizer located at /wp-admin/customize.php. From then you click WooCommerce → Product Catalog then Products per row and Rows per page and change those setting.
I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean to imply I thought it was in the WooCommerce settings. I didn’t explain myself well. I specifically want Products Per Page. This functionality is NOT default in WooCommerce 3.4.0 in the Theme Customizer. What you are showing me there (which do seem to be there, yes) are Products Per Row and Rows Per Page – while super similar, it’s not quite the same thing. I actually want the visitor to be able to define the amount of products per page on the front end specifically. I actually didn’t realize those were there - sorry about that - that must be semi new as they were not the last time I looked – but – again it’s not what I want anyways.
EDIT: It seems when you add something like the snippet I tried WooCommerce automatically hides it from the customize screen, which, is why I didn’t see those two - sorry for the confusion! Those are deff new-ish, the last time I setup a WooCommerce site a plugin was common to add those there. That’s what I was thinking. 
you really don’t need it plugin for such a simple changes anyway
I agree with you! However, I’m not simply trying to change the settings. If I were just going to override it and have it be static that’d be something I’d be fine to do. I want the functionality of Products Per Page specifically that has a dropdown that allows the viewer to change it themselves. Otherwise I’d just make due with the Products Per Row / Rows Per Page to set it how I wanted it.
It’s not a Sage issue guaranteed.
I hear you, however, I’m looking at a fresh install of WordPress, Sage 8.5.4, and WooCommerce 3.4.0 right now and when I attempt to use the plugin I showed above:
It doesn’t work. Also when I attempt to do it without a plugin and use this snippet from WooCommerce:
https://docs.woocommerce.com/document/change-number-of-products-displayed-per-page/
It also doesn’t work – however – if I switch to twentyeleven or twentytwelve it works completely fine…
So, if it’s not something in Sage blocking it, what am I missing here? I’d very much love to just be a total idiot who’s missing something easy but I just don’t see it.